"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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