Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
