You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
