Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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