We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
