He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
