Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
