I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
