She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Sorry my hands just texted you
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Randomize
