this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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