Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
