Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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