Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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