you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize