who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
