I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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