Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
operation have a gay friend backfired
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
ok first of all what the fuck
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
