Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
