Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's shark week go big or go home
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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