Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
