I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Quick, to the slutcave!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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