I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize