Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
