This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Come share oat with me in your robe
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
