I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
