Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
