mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Who wears a wallet chain?!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Panties = found
Randomize
