I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize