Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We need to get me chipped asap
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
