we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
