i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
