is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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