ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i came on her dog
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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