She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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