i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
