ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
