I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
