im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
