It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
