I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
