Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
