What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
