We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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