fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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