He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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