the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
