Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
