The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
