Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
