We're facebook friends in real life
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
