I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize