oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i think i just lost a toe
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
