my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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