They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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