his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
