i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i think i have two assholes
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
