Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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