i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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