PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
