have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize