Christians are straight up FREAKS
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
