someone get that fucking seahorse.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize